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Parasha Insights

DO YOU HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS?

Jack Silverberg who lives in a little shtetl in England goes to consult a world-famous specialist in NY about his heart condition.

"So, doctor, what do I owe you?"

"My fee is $10,000," replies the physician.

"10,000? But that's impossible!?"

"OK, then -- in your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to $8,000."

"8k for one visit!? Absurd! You are meshugah! What do you need all this money for anyhow?"

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DON'T ONLY WIN THE BATTLE; WIN THE WAR!!

A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher left feeling satisfied. Three days later, the butcher finds a… Read More »

TORAH AND MONA LISA

Miss Paddington was exclaiming over the beautiful paintings in the Louvre in Paris. Suddenly she came to one and yelled, "How dreadful! How could such a respected museum have such a disgraceful piece in its collection?!"

"Pardon, Madame," a staff member replied, "but it is not a painting. It is a mirror!"

We receive our salaries based on our contracts. Our contracts spell out our responsibilities, exactly how many hours we must work and when, when we have vacation, and how many “sick… Read More »

HOW CAN YOU BECOME WEALTHY?

The house was absolutely quiet. The family slept peacefully. Suddenly, the telephone rang and broke the silence. Rabbi Frielich looked up at the clock over his bed. It was three o'clock in the morning. Who could be calling at such an hour?

The rabbi picked up the phone and heard the voice of a member of his congregation. "Rabbi, you must help me. I have been arrested for the crime of tax evasion. I have been placed in jail together with a bunch of addicts and criminals. I don't know what to do!" The rabbi replied, "I will do… Read More »

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