Parasha Insights


You know the story: Old Jacob is lying on his bed, very ill, waiting for his final breath.

Suddenly he whispers: "Judith, my beloved wife ... are you there?"

"Yes my beloved husband... I am here by your side," Judith says.

Old Jacob whispers again: "Isaac, my son... are you there?"

"Yes, father... I am here with you," is the answer.

Old Jacob breathes heavily and goes on: "Sarah, my beautiful daughter-in-law... are you there?"

&qu… Read More »


An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to: "They stole the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. 
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radioed in. "Disregard.

"She got in the back-seat by mistake."

In this week's portion, Vayechi, we see the uniquely intimate relationship between Joseph and his father Jacob climax in a … Read More »

Suspend Judgment

Steven paid his way through college by becoming a waiter in a restaurant.  "What's the usual tip?" asked a customer.

"Well," said Steven, "this is my first day, but the other guys said that if I got five dollars out of you, I'd be doing great."  "Is that so?" growled the angry customer. "In that case, here's two hundred dollars!" "Thanks. I'll put it in my college fund," Johnny said.  "What are you studying?" asked the customer. "Appli… Read More »

What is the Conflict Between the Greeks and Israel?

Hyman went to his doctor for the results of lab tests from a full check-up. His doctor said he was doing "fairly well" for his age.

Hyman was obviously a little concerned about that. "Doctor, do you think I'll live to be 80?"
The doctor asked, "Do you smoke or drink beer?"
"Oh no", Hyman replied, "I've never done either."
"Do you eat grilled steaks or barbecued ribs?"

"No," replied Hyman. "I've heard that red meat is v… Read More »


The other day a young man  told me about a call he'd recently received from a charity asking to donate some clothes to starving people throughout the world. 
He told them to get out of his life and never again ask him for his clothes.

"You see," he said, "anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving!"

In this week's portion, Vayeshev, at the tender age of 17, Joseph, the beloved child of our Patriarch Jacob, is snatched by his own brothers, thrown into a pit, and ultimately sold … Read More »

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