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An anti-Semite walks into a bar and sees a Jew sitting there. He walks over to the bartender and says, "A round of your most expensive drink for everyone here-besides the Jew." He turns and sees the Jew is smiling. The anti-Semite, desperate to denigrate the Jew, tells the bartender to give another round to everyone besides the Jew. Once again the Jew smiles. The anti-Semite repeats the round of drinks yet again. At this point, the Jew has a massive smile. The anti-Semite asks the bart… Read More » |
ב"ה
Parasha Insights
CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR DNA?
IS G-D AN INTERIOR DECORATOR?
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For weeks, a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. Finally, one day the mother allowed the boy to actually feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year-old made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, what happened to that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think M… Read More » |
WHY DO CIVIL LAWS NEED TO BE G-DLY?
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Not so very long ago, an old Polish man was feeling guilty about something he had done, and decided to go to Confession. He said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I feel terrible because during World War II I hid a Jew in my attic." The priest said, "But that's not a sin! I wouldn't feel bad about that if I were you!" "But I made him agree to pay me 50 zlotys for every week he stayed." The priest said, "Well, I admit that certainly wasn't the noblest thing to do, ch… Read More » |
WHAT IS OUR DEEPEST VOICE?
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One Sunday, the Priest arrived at services with band-aids all over his cheek. During his sermon he explained that in the morning he had decided to take a nice, clean shave in honor of services. “I was thinking of my speech and I—accidentally—cut my face.” A child raised his hand, stood, and said: "Father! Next week do us all a big favor. Change your pattern: Think of your face and cut your speech!" This week's portion of Yitro has one phrase which generates an essential discussion about the releva… Read More » |