Parasha Insights


One night, while on duty, a security guard dreamed that the plane on which his boss was supposed to fly the following day was going to crash. When he woke, he immediately called his boss at home and warned him. Insanely enough, the boss listened and cancelled his trip.

The next day, as the guard had predicted, the plane crashed. The relieved boss called the young man to his office and gave him a reward—and then fired him. The man asked his boss for an explanation; he had just saved his life! The boss replied, “You were sleeping on… Read More »


Sherlock Holmes and Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and some wine they were exhausted and fell asleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I… Read More »


An American Jew visits Russia and is asked about life in America. “Thank G-d,” he replies, “life is good. How is life in the Soviet Union?”

“Here,” replies the Russian, “it is also good, but here we don’t say thank G-d. Here we say Thank Putin.”

“What will you say when Putin dies?” the American inquires. 
“Then we will say thank G-d,” replies the Russian.

In this week’s Torah portion, Matot-Maasei, it says… Read More »


A man wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her, "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?" Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, he saw his boat with the name boldly painted on the side: "For Sale."

During these Three Weeks—between the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av, July 5, -July 26, 2015 when both Holy Temples were destroyed—Jews study about the… Read More »

To Be Or Not To Be?

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.

"You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?"

The client replied that he did.

Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?"

The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."

This Shabbat is the 17th of the Hebrew month of Tammuz. This is when the walls of Jerusalem were breached, enabling the… Read More »

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