Parasha Insights - Chabad of Great Neck

DO YOU HAVE A PLEASANT AROMA?

Friday, March 31, 2017 - 12:26 PM

A man sat down in a bar. The bartender asked, "What'll it be, buddy?" The man said, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots. Make them doubles."

The bartender did this and watched the man slug one down after another until all seven were gone, almost as quickly as they were served.

Staring in disbelief, the bartender asked why he was drinking so much. "You'd drink them this fast too, if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asked, "What do you have?"

The man replied, "I have one dollar."

This week’s Torah portion, Vayikra, discusses sacrifices. Though these laws have been inoperative for almost 2,000 years, since the destruction of the holy Temple, the moral principles they … Read More »

CRISIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY

Thursday, March 23, 2017 - 10:29 PM

A man sat a bar staring at his drink. After half an hour, a burly truck driver grabbed his glass and swallowed the contents. The poor man started to cry. The driver said, “C'mon, I was joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I can’t stand seeing a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I slept in and got to the office late. My boss, outraged, fired me. When I exited the building, I found my car was stolen, and the police said they couldn't help. I took a cab home, and when it left, I realized I had left my wallet and cards there. I went inside my house and saw my wife drinking coffee with another guy. I came to this bar. Just when I was thinking about putting an end to m… Read More »

HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO HONOR YOUR PARENTS?

Friday, March 17, 2017 - 12:00 PM

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Melvin, honestly, do you say prayers before eating?"

"No," little Melvin replied, "I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

The opening of this week’s second portion, Parshat Parah, relates the law and ritual known as "The Red Heifer."

A completely red cow was slaughtered and burned, its ashes preserved with much care. If a person became spiritually contaminated through contact with a human corpse, fresh water from a spring was mixed with some of the cow’s ashes. This ash-water mixture was then sprinkled upon the contaminated human being twice during a seven-day period, on the third and seventh days. This cleansed him or her from their ritual im… Read More »

WHY DO WE MASQUERADE ON PURIM?

Friday, March 10, 2017 - 12:00 PM

A young boy entered a barber shop. The barber whispered to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. I'll prove it." The barber put a two quarters in one hand and a dollar in the other, then asked the boy, "Which do you want?" The boy took the quarters and left.

"See?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

When the customer left, he saw the same boy exiting the ice cream store. "Hey, son! Can I ask you something? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his ice cream and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

There is a strange Jewish custom which we will experience on Sunday: Every year on Purim… Read More »

Regards From Jerusalem

Thursday, March 2, 2017 - 10:00 PM

I write my weekly letter this Thursday, not from the comforts of Great Neck, but rather from the noisy, people filled streets in Jerusalem. I am now in Israel in honor of my father’s 20th yahrtzeit and just prayed at the Kotel for my Great Neck family and the entire Jewish family.

Each time I come, there is something I notice that never ceases to amaze me. We may speak differently, eat differently, drive differently, and even “argue” differently, still we are truly one people, one family, one home.

I hear it in the conversations in Jerusalem, in the busy streets of Tel Aviv, and in the homes of “sabras”. We all want a safer world, a … Read More »