Parasha Insights


Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.

One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party, he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed.

The millionaire was impressed. He said… Read More »


Shalom to all my friends in Great Neck and to all my virtual friends, so many of whom I feel I know personally from your feedback and comments on my weekly emails. Today, I write to you from home, not my temporary home on Long Island but our true home, the land of Israel. I am here to commemorate my dear father's Reb Dovid ben Reb Zev OBM Yahrtzeit. When the plane touched down in Ben Gurion airport, an inexplicable feeling of warmth enveloped me for I knew I was home, in a country that G-d has said will always be ours. Yes, there is some tension in the air, for our enemies sent tow missiles from Gaza to Tel Aviv, but the miracles are so open thank G-d they did not hurt any one. The resilience of our people is strong and the courage of our… Read More »


A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it, making believe he was actually talking to someone. "I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then." He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, "Now, what can I do for you? Make sure to do this fast, as I am in a mad rush, as you can see from the endless telephone calls of clients."

"Nothing," replied the man. "I'm here to hook up your phone.”

Torah laws… Read More »



An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup.

A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare a quarter for a cup of coffee?"

And the man said, "Where do you get coffee for 25 cents?"

And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"

"Doctor I need your help," complained Yankel. "I talk to myself."

"Do you suffer any pain?" asked the doctor.   "No."

"In that case," said the doctor, "go home and don't worry. 

Millions of people talk to themselves...many people have a similar condition. It is all good."

"But doctor," cried Yankele, "you don't know what a nudnik I… Read More »

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