Parasha Insights


A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.
"After five minutes of silence, the Zen master asks: Excuse me, but where’s my change?"
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
This Shabbat in the portion of Reeh does the Torah warn the Jewish people against idolatry. Each time, the Torah follows up with a strange, identical term: You are in danger of following alien gods and idols, ones that you never heard of and never knew.
And then again: which you have never… Read More »


A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "G-d is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little.… Read More »


A young couple was called to heaven before they could be married. The disappointed groom asked G-d if it would still be possible for them to get married.

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait," G-d replied. If you still want to get married, we will talk about it."

Five years passed and the couple came back. They asked to be married again. G-d said, "Sorry, you'll have to wait five more years."

They waited another five years and G-d finally said they could be married. The wedding was beautiful and at first, the couple was happy, but then the problems began. They realized they made a mistake. They now asked G-d if they could get a divorce.

"What?" G-d asked. "It took us 10 years to find a Rabbi in… Read More »


A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company, telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what the future has in store for him.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work? At a party?"

"No," says the psychic, "in a biology class."

Says the Talmud: Rabban Gamliel, Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria, Rabbi Joshua and Rabbi Akiva went up to Jerusalem. When they reached the Temple Mount, they saw a fox emerging from the place of the Holy of Holies. The others started weeping; Rabbi… Read More »


Ben Cohen had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So Ben stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. Ben figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up.

Once outside, Ben stood up but fell flat on his face again. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door, Ben stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed Ben tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next… Read More »

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