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ב"ה

Parasha Insights

DO YOU HAVE A BRIGHT SPOT IN YOUR LIFE?

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through his backyard, wearing his baseball cap, toting a ball and bat. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

“Strike one!” he yelled. He picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air. He swung and missed. “Strike two!” he cried.

The boy then paused to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spits on his hands and rubbed them together, straightened his cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball up and swung. He missed.… Read More »

FOR ME TO WIN, I NEED YOU TO WIN

Mrs. Greenberg was teaching her first-grade class about saying blessings and praying.

"For example children,” said Mrs. Greenberg “Before we go to sleep we should sing shema.

“Who here say their prayers at night?"

Little Chaim answered, "My mommy says my prayers."

"I see," said Mrs. Greenberg, "And what does your mother say?"

Chaim replied, "THANK G-D, HE'S IN BED!

This week's Torah portion Ki Tavo opens with a discussion of the Mitzvah of Bikkurim, the First Fruits. Upon the ripening of the first fruits of the season, a farmer would fill a basket with the ripened fruits and bring them to the Temple in Jerusalem, and offer them as a gift to the Kohen, to declare thanks to… Read More »

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE?

Six retired Jewish Floridians are playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $5,000 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen friend, the other five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to bear the news. They tell him to be discreet, gentle, not to make a bad situation worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks… Read More »

IS YOUR FINGER ON THE PULSE?

"How did you get this big executive job?" asked the secretary. "You've only been here for three months." The young man shrugged modestly and explained, "I ran into my father and he took a liking to me."

The boss always scheduled a weekly staff meeting at four-thirty on Friday afternoons. When an employee got up the nerve to ask why, the boss explained, "I've found that late Friday afternoon is the only time none of you want to argue with me."

There is an obvious anomaly in a verse of our weekly portion Shoftim. “You shall come to the judge who will be in those days,” meaning in the time when are seeking guidance in your dilemmas of Jewish law. The words “who will be in… Read More »

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