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ב"ה

Parasha Insights

ARE YOU TRUE TO YOURSELF?

If you were to tell your grandmother you want to be financially independent, and she need not support you anymore, she would probably say: “It’s about time, you grow up and become a man; it’s great that you are mature and you can make it on your own.”
That’s with my grandmother.

Not so with Prince Harry’s grandmother, the British Queen.

 

All hell broke loose this past year, as Harry and Meghan, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, notified the world they are taking a flier. They’re leaving the castle, calling it quits — and looking for new digs and gigs across the pond.

They said they want to become “financially independent,” stating they “value the ability to earn… Read More »

NATURE OR NURTURE?

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

In this week's Torah portion, Vayigash Judah has made a passionate plea for Benjamin’s release. Yes, the missing silver cup has been found in his possession. Judah does not challenge the facts. Instead, he throws himself on the mercy of the Egyptian ruler, of whose identity he is still unaware. He asks him to think of the impact Benjamin’s imprisonment will have on his father. He has already lost… Read More »

CAN YOU FORGIVE AND FORGET?

Rabbi Cohen answers the phone. "Hello, is this Rabbi Sam Cohen?" "It is."

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can."

"Do you know a Frank Schwartz?" "I do."

"Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is."

"Did he donate $100,000,000 to the synagogue?" "He will."

The story is riveting in this week's Torah portion Miketz. Joseph, sold by his brothers into slavery, is languishing in an Egyptian prison pit, where he interprets the dreams of Pharaoh’s butler and baker. Two years later, Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, has two dreams. In the first, Pharaoh sees himself standing over the Nile River, "And, behold, there came up out of… Read More »

DO NOT SIN AGAINST THE CHILD

In 1970 Chaim immigrated to Jerusalem. He applied for a phone in his apartment, but weeks went by without one. Exasperated, he visited the phone company headquarters in the main Post Office in Jerusalem and asked the clerk when his phone would finally be installed.


"Sir," responded the clerk, "Israel has a major shortage of phone lines. There are Government Ministers, Army Generals, and Hospitals ahead of you who are also waiting for phones to become available."


“So you are telling me that I have no hope of getting a phone?" ?" 

"Heaven forbid!” said the clerk. As a Jew, I am forbidden to tell you that there is no hope.

“There is always hope.”

Excited, Chaim repeated… Read More »

WHO CHOSE YOU

A priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants.

"I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port, and a cigar.

Come to 2:00 AM, as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay.

Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.' Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave." 

The rabbi is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening." 

So the priest books them into a restaurant and comes at 2 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal.

Sure enough, a waiter… Read More »

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