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Parasha Insights

MAMA! COME BACK TO NEST

Why computers should be considered masculine:

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model and for much cheaper.


 


Why computers should be considered feminine:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on… Read More »

WHAT IS THE GREATEST JOKE?

After just being convicted, a guy is sentenced to prison. On his first day there, he hangs around with his cellmate who promises to show him the ropes. At mealtime, they both pick up a tray of food and find a place to sit. Shortly thereafter, some guy in the dining hall stands up and yells "NUMBER 34!". Suddenly the entire place goes into an uproar.

Some guys are laughing and clapping and others are rolling around on the floor. Not long after another guy stands up and yells "NUMBER 5!". Again, the place goes into an uproar.

The new inmate is puzzled by all this and asks his friend what was going on.

"Well", said the friend, "since we are cut off from society, we rarely get to hear any new jokes. Since… Read More »

WHY WILL YOUR "LONELY" SEDER BE SO SPECIAL THIS YEAR ?

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $325,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks’ vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, of course, I am kidding, but you started the kidding around."

In less than a week… Read More »

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