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Parasha Insights


Rachel and her husband Max are in their local kosher restaurant. Even though Rachel always seems to find something to moan about in this deli restaurant, they still regularly go there because the food is good and it's frequented by many of their fellow seniors.

As usual, within minutes of taking their seats, Rachel starts to bother their waiter. "Waiter," she says, "please turn up the air conditioning. You know I can't stand a hot atmosphere."

But then, five minutes later, she asks the waiter to turn down the air conditioning because she is too cold. Soon after, she wants it turned up again because she's getting too hot. But then their food arrives on the table and Rachel is at last silent as she eats her… Read More »


A Taxi was ordered by a Rabbi for Yom Kippur night to take his wife and him to the hospital for a new baby.

The rabbi requested that they send a driver who is not Jewish in his mind the Rabbi did not want another Jew to drive him on Yom Kippur.

They enter the cab and hear over radio the dispatcher saying to the driver: “Did you pick up those anti-Semites already?”

It is a strange Talmudic statement:

This Shabbat is not only called the portion of Devarim but it is called Shabbat Chazon as the Haftarah begins with the words Chazon Yeshayahu and Rav Levi Yitzchak of Barditchev explains that this Shabbat G-d shows us the third Holy Temple that will be built In Jerusalem soon.  The Sages… Read More »


Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

It is an intriguing story described in this week Torah  portion Matot-Massei how the Israelites were en route to the land of Canaan when they were attacked by the armies of Sichon and Og, whose domain lay on the eastern bank of the… Read More »


A government official was arrested for accepting a bribe from a contractor. A friend who went to visit him in prison asked, "How are you going to get out of this mess?"

The official replied calmly, "I got into trouble for accepting a bribe; I will get out of it by giving it."

Not much is known about the lives of these five sisters, daughters of Tzelafchad, and no sons that profoundly influenced the Jews’ approach to the world as recorded in this week's portion of Pinchas.

The five daughters approached Moses with the petition, saying: Give us a portion along with our father's brothers.

Moses presented their request to G-d, who responded: "The daughters of Tzelafchad speak rightly. Give... their… Read More »


Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Six."

Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"  Johnny: "Seven!"

Teacher: "Johnny, where do you get seven from?!"

Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!

In this week's… Read More »

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