Parasha Insights

The KGB comes to the Goldman house in Communist Russia.

“Does Yankel Goldman live here?” he asks.

“No,” replies Goldman.

“Well, then, what is your name?” “Yankel Goldman.”

“Wait a minute–didn’t you just tell me that Goldman doesn’t live here?”

“Aha,” says Goldman. “You call this living?”

The Jewish people have spent almost a full year at Sinai. It is time to move on and continue the journey into the Promised Land. The hopes are high. All is going according to the plan. At this point, the Torah in our portion Behaalotecha chooses to relate a fascinating exchange between Moshe and his father-in-law: Jethro has arrived at the Israelite… Read More »

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

“Ha! That's not going to help!” She said.

“Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way I can see the numbers.”

A visitor at the British Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old that skeleton is?"

"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."

"How can you know that with such precision?!"

"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old - and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago..."

If you have ever been to the synagogue during the Priest… Read More »

You know the story of the man who came to the therapist for a very serious problem.

“How can I help you?” asks the therapist.

Yes, says the patient. Please tell me what time is it?

That’s why you came to me? Asks the therapist. Are you nuts? It’s three o'clock!

Patient: Oh, no! G-d help me.

Therapist: What's the matter?

Patient: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!...

It is one of those strange, intriguing, poignant, and profound Talmudic tales.

Rav Yehuda said: When Moses ascended on Mt. Sinai, he found the Holy One, sitting and tying crowns on the letters of the Torah.

Moses said before G-d: Master of the Universe! What is lacking in the words themselves that … Read More »