ARE YOU TRUE TO YOURSELF?

If you were to tell your grandmother you want to be financially independent, and she need not support you anymore, she would probably say: “It’s about time, you grow up and become a man; it’s great that you are mature and you can make it on your own.”
That’s with my grandmother.

Not so with Prince Harry’s grandmother, the British Queen.

All hell broke loose this past year, as Harry and Meghan, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, notified the world they are taking a flier. They’re leaving the castle, calling it quits — and looking for new digs and gigs across the pond.

They said they want to become “financially independent,” stating they “value the ability to earn a professional income.” But no one is sure how they’re cutting the cord or how else they plan to generate income.

I, for one, I’m not worried they will not have challah for Shabbat, or their electric bills will remain unpaid. Harry’s net worth is estimated to be around $39 million, Meghan’s net worth is estimated to be around $5 million.
Yet they made it clear, they wish to get away from royal restrictions. Harry and Meghan can hop on the speaking circuit, or do anything else they wish.

One dramatic result was swift to follow: London’s famous Madame Tussauds removes Meghan and Harry wax figures from the royal family display since they are royal no more…

The entire episode brought up the question: What does it mean to be part of the royal family? Can you choose out? Can you quit this distinction? What if you do not want all the rules and regulations involved?

I will allow the royal family and the royal couple to figure out the answers to these questions.

But it made me think of another question young Jews sometimes ask:
I know I was born Jewish. But want to call it quits. Too many rules, regulations, and restrictions. Thanks, but no thanks. As Tevya says in the Fidler, G-d thanks for choosing me, but can you choose someone else for a couple of decades?

Yes, I am part of the biological royal family of Judaism. But I want to move away, geographically or conceptually. I want to be my own person, do my own thing, make my own money, mind my own business, and live my own life. I am out.

But we believe otherwise, if you are born a Jew, you are forever a Jew, even if you renounce it. But why can’t I say it is not for me?

The answer to this question is essential to our faith.

Judaism for the Jew is not a duty, or a tradition, or a family obligation, or a fate and faith you fell into—it is who we are, it is my DNA. I am a royal at my core, and my only choice is whether I acknowledge it, or not; whether I will live my life according to who I am, or I can alienate myself from my core self. But there is nothing I can do to alter that true core.

Imagine I come to a nutritionist and geneticist. They both examine me and proscribe for me a diet and lifestyle based on my genes and my physical chemistry. And I say: Sorry, I will not allow you guys to dictate my life. I will not allow my genes to dictate my habits. I will not allow my blood type and my cellular makeup to determine what I eat. I am free to do what I want to do.

It’s funny. Because I am my genes. There is no other I. my choice is either to live according to the true nature of my body or to ignore it. But I can’t change my body.
When a Jew says, I do not want to be Jewish, I am leaving Torah, it is the same. For a Jew, Torah and Mitzvot are the life-styles that allow him or her to be aligned with their truest core, chemistry, and design.

Like a nutritionist who tells me what to eat and what not to eat, she is not trying to limit my life; he/she is trying to optimize my health and wellbeing, so I can maximize my days, feel better, operate on the highest level of energy and run around freely.

That is what Judaism wants: It gives us a "diet" so we operate on our maximum level of energy. Knowing our blood type, Hashem gives us the diet so that our souls, minds, and bodies can be aligned.

Imagine you go to an amusement park on one of those wild roller coaster rides, and when the guy comes to put on your seat belt you tell him, no, I would rather enjoy the ride without the restriction of a belt, I want to feel free, uncontrolled. I do not want inhibitions. I want to stay on this ride without anybody interfering with my freedoms!
The same is true in real life: Life moves very fast. Torah and Mitzvot are here to allow us to navigate life with more freedom, while the belt of safety hugs us lovingly, even though it can sometimes feel tight and restrictive.

Those seat belts are blessings, not curses. They are here to help us enjoy the ride of life, much more and deeper, not to spoil the fun. Without them, we do not know when we will fall off...

Real Yiddishkeit brings and encourages growth, freedom, self-actualization, and self-expression. G-d wants you to be the happiest you can behave in a life filled with fun, excitement, joy, and full vibrancy.  

Here is a story:

When the nightingale was created with a beautiful voice, she came complaining to G-d: “I thank you for my beautiful voice. I love to sing at the night. However, my voice also attracts predators. A hungry animal looking for a nice meal will be drawn to my voice. Seeing a piece of flesh, a little bird, perched on a branch, they will pursue me for their next meal. Please G-d, give me a defense with which I can protect myself from predators.”

G-d offered the bird a beak. The nightingale examined the merchandise and declined it, saying: “Please G-d. I’m a beautiful bird. A nose like that is unbecoming for an elegant bird like me.” G-d then offered the bird claws. And again, the bird rejected them: “Such ugly long nails – so unbecoming.”

Finally, G-d offered the bird a set of wings. The bird looked at the two wings and exclaimed: “Master of the Universe. You created us all with profound wisdom and design. I don’t understand. I have enough bodyweight to carry with me when I need to escape predators. You’re now giving me two more pieces of flesh that just add more weight and will make it more difficult for me to escape!”

G-d replied: “No, little bird. Let me tell you. I’ll teach you how to use these wings. I will teach you to soar. With these wings, you’ll be able to fly away and escape your enemies.”
Mitzvot – the laws of the Torah – are commitments that clearly add more “bodyweight” and responsibility to a person’s life. It’s easier and lighter to live a life without responsibility. Yet, if you only see the “body” of the mitzvot then they can appear as “dead weight.” However, when you learn to access their soul, you discover their ability to serve as “wings” to fly with; wings that lift and carry you to places you could never reach on your own.

The young British couple wants to flee because they see in royalty many burdens and restrictions. But when one really studies Torah and internalizes it, you come to discover the infinite beauty, depth, opportunity, and truth of it all. To leave it would be like cutting off your wings.

There is a fascinating Midrash how G-d refuses the pleading of His faithful servant, Moses, to be allowed entry into the Promised Land.
Moses said to G-d, “Master of the universe, the bones of Joseph will enter the land, and I will not enter the land?!”

What he meant was in this week's Torah portion Vayechi, at the conclusion of Genesis, Joseph the viceroy of Egypt, just before his death, adjured the children of Israel, that they take his bones with them when they leave Egypt. More than a century later, when the Jewish slaves embarked on their path to freedom, “Moses took the bones of Joseph with him to Israel.
When Joshua led the people into the land, Joseph’s bones were interred in the city of Shechem, known today also as Nablus. This was the irony hinted in Moses’ plea to G-d: I was the one who carried Joseph’s bones for forty-years; yet these bones that I carried all this way will make their way into the Holy Land, while I will remain behind!

What perturbed Moses, according to this Midrash, was not so much that he wouldn’t be allowed to enter the Land alive. Moses could understand that his leadership was designed for the generation that left Egypt and that now it was time for his pupil Joshua to take over the reins. The brunt of Moses' hurt was that G-d would not allow even his body to be interred in the soil of the Holy Land! G-d’s response is nothing less than astounding. It goes like this:

He who acknowledged his land will be buried in the land; he who did not acknowledge his land, will not be buried in the land. Joseph acknowledged the land; Moses did not.
The Midrash quotes two episodes demonstrating Joseph’s loyalty to the land.

At the first time: At the age of seventeen, Joseph was living with his father Jacob in Hebron. The young handsome lad was kidnapped by his brothers and sold into Egyptian slavery. There he acquired the trust of his master, Potiphar, who put him in charge of the home, while his wife was unsuccessfully attempting to seduce Joseph into immoral behavior.

One day when nobody was home, the woman held on to Joseph, demanding that he betray his morality. Joseph fled the home leaving his cloak in her hand. She seized the opportunity and cried out: “Look! He [my husband] brought us a Hebrew man to sport with us; he came to lie with me but I screamed out loud! When he heard that I raised my voice and screamed, he left his garment beside me, fled and went outside “!
For this, Joseph was sentenced to prison. For twelve years he remained incarcerated in an Egyptian dungeon until he was finally liberated to interpret a mysterious dream of the Egyptian emperor, Pharaoh, following which he rose to become the viceroy of the country.

How did Potiphar’s wife describe Joseph? As a “Hebrew man” everybody was aware that he was a member of the Hebrew tribe, coming from the Land of Israel.
The second episode occurs ten years later, while in the Egyptian dungeon. There, Joseph interprets the enigmatic dreams of two of Pharaoh’s assistants, his baker, and his butler. The baker, Joseph predicts, will be executed; the butler will be set free and restored to his previous post in the palace.

Joseph asks of the butler: “If only you can do me a favor, and mention me to Pharaoh, and get me out of this place, for indeed I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to them to put me in the dungeon “.

Here again, Joseph proclaims his connection to the Holy Land. “I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews.”

Indeed, when the butler does present Joseph’s case to Pharaoh, two years later, that is exactly how he describes Joseph: “There [in the dungeon] with us was a Hebrew youth, a slave…” The first characteristic by which he defines Joseph is his being “a Hebrew youth.”

In Egyptian society, to be a Hebrew was a badge of shame. That may be the reason why Potiphar’s wife when seeking to gain credibility for her version of the story that Joseph attempted to violate her, defined him first and foremost as a “Hebrew man.” She knew that this would help her case. And Joseph made it known that he was a Hebrew, a resident of Israel.

Years later, while suffering in prison, attempting to seek the Egyptian ruler’s grace to set him free of his misery, it would have been even more logical for him to underplay his true identity. Why did he tell the butler, “I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews” and put his entire freedom at risk?  
Furthermore, how can Joseph define the land as “The land of the Hebrews”? At the time, the land was home to 31 kingdoms, consisting of large and powerful tribes, while the Hebrews were comprised of fewer than 70 members, and lived in a part of one city, Hebron?

Because Joseph understood you have only one choice in life: To be true to yourself or not. You have no choice to say that you are not who you are. It does not work. It is like denying my mother is my mother. I can deny it all day, it will be meaningless.

Joseph was a man of the world. He walked the corridors of the United Nations and the State Department. He was a loyal and faithful citizen of Egypt, contributing immensely to its economic growth and rescuing it from famine. But he never hesitated to say the truth: I am a Jew and I am proud of it. And Israel was the eternal home of the Jewish people, given to them as a gift from the Creator of heaven and earth.

Today we all need to be Josephs.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky