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DO YOU KEEP A GRUDGE?

Friday, 10 May, 2024 - 10:51 am

Once, on Yom Kippur, a Rabbi spoke about forgiveness.
After the sermon, he asked how many are willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.

Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. All responded except one elderly lady in the rear. "Mrs. Cohen, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any."

"That is very unusual. How old are you?" "106"

Not satisfied, he lectured the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated his

"Mrs. Cohen, please come down and tell the congregation how a lady can live to  be 106 and not have no enemy in the world."  The old lady teetered down the aisle, slowly turned to face the congregation, and blurted out, "I outlived them all!"  In this week’s Torah portion, Kedoshim, the Torah says:  Don’t hate your brother [or sister] in your heart. Don’t take vengeance, and don’t bear a  grudge against the members of your people. Love your friend like yourself. I am G-d.

Rashi explains the meaning of the twin prohibitions of taking revenge and bearing a grudge:  So, let’s make this practical. I ask you to lend me your car. You say no. You ask me to lend you my iPhone, and I say no, I will not give it to you, just as you didn’t give me your car. That’s a prohibition, a sin, in the Torah.

Next case scenario. I ask you to lend me your iPhone, you say no. You ask me to lend you, my car. I say ye. “I will not be like you who refused to lend me your phone.” Again, this is prohibited by the Torah.

There is something amiss here. By refusing to lend me your car, you do not violate any prohibition. The Torah does not obligate you to do me the favor I ask of you. Of course, every time you do someone a favor, every time you do an act of kindness, it is a mitzvah,  but you are not morally obliged to lend me your car or your iPhone. When you said the first “no,” there was no sin involved.  Yet, when I utter the second “no,” I sinned! When you asked me for my iPhone  and I said, “I shall reciprocate your “no,” suddenly I violated a transgression in the Torah.  It seems unfair. The first fellow got away “with murder.” He has the right to refuse my request. Then when I reciprocate his actions, and refuse his request, I am guilty. Where is the justice? You can be selfish toward me, but I can’t be selfish toward you?

What is worse, even if I do not reciprocate your actions, and I act kindly, giving you what you ask for, I make mention of the fact that I am not behaving like you I still committed a Torah prohibition. Does this make sense?  The insight is morally and psychologically profound.

What is meant by bearing a grudge? A person's colleague asks him, "Lend me your car.  He responds, "No! I refuse to lend it to you." On the following day, the person who refused needed to borrow an iPhone from his colleague. He asks him: “Lend me your iPhone.” He says to him, “Here it is for you; I am not like you, who did not lend me!” This constitutes “bearing a grudge,” for he keeps the hatred in his heart, even though he does not take revenge.

The Torah, in this distinction between the first “no”—which is permissible and the  second “no”—which is forbidden is guiding us on how to live a happy and wholesome life.

If you don’t lend me something, or do me another favor I ask for, you may not be “Mr. Nice Guy,” but you did not violate any Torah prohibition. The Torah  does not demand us to give away, or lend, whatever we own, to someone who wants it. I may have many good reasons not to lend you something and that does not make me a bad person. What if my car is new and expensive, and I am very protective of it? I do not want to entrust it to another driver. Nothing wrong with that. I may protect my property. Maybe I’m not the most generous human being on the planet, but for whatever personal reason, I do not want to lend you, my car. That’s fine.

Maybe I’m afraid of damage, maybe I’m a little uptight, maybe I’m stressed out today  and can’t deal with a new headache, or maybe I am the pessimistic warrior.  Whatever the case, this is between me and me, or between me and
G-d, 
 and it is none of your business. I said no, so I said no.

That is not your concern.

But now, when you ask of me something, and the reason I am not giving it to you is   not because  I am afraid you might damage it but to take revenge; or even if I am giving it to you, I am harboring a grudge toward you for not lending me yesterday what I asked for, this is a different story. Now I am harboring negativity and toxicity in my heart. Now, I am operating in the dangerous and vicious orbit of revenge.

Even if I do not take revenge, and I lend you the item you asked for, but I add: “I am not  like you!”—it demonstrates that I am walking around with resentment, hate, and toxicity in my brain. The Torah never wants me to walk around with toxic negativity in my brain,  harboring a grudge and the feeling of what a terrible human being you are.  A wise person said, “Hanging onto resentment, is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” What is happening in this case is even worse: I am allowing my perceived enemy to live in my brain rent-free. This means I am not in a good space.  When my heart swells with resentment, I am not in a healthy space; I am not capable of serving G-d at this moment.  Resentment, it has been said, is like  smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.

It is not always easy. If someone refused to lend me their car, Nu. But if they hurt me, insulted me, or wronged me?

If I am human, I will feel hurt and upset. I am not made of steel. But, as the Torah warns us right in the previous verse, “Do not hate your brother in your heart, you should rebuke your fellow.” Even in this case, we should make sure not to allow the resentment to sit and build up. Instead, the Torah commands us to approach the one who hurt us and ask for an explanation or an apology.

In the beautiful words of Rambam:

When one person wrongs another, the latter should not remain silent and despise him internally... Rather, there is a mitzvah in which he notifies the person who hurt him and asks him: "Why did you do this and this to me?" " If, afterward, the person who committed the wrong asks his colleague to forgive him, he should do so.

Likewise, if a person stole money from you, or damaged your property, you have the full  right to demand compensation, as appropriate by Torah law. This is not called revenge; it is called justice. I was hurt; I was damaged; I deserve to get my money back. And I deserve an apology.

And when someone apologizes, we should always forgive.

Forgiveness comes from recognizing four things:

1: We are all affected by the sadness of  life: so many of us suffer trauma, are weak, and often make bad mistakes.  We want to be forgiven, so we should forgive others. We ask G-d to forgive us for our  mistakes, we must afford that dignity to others.

2. Forgiveness comes from me  recognizing my inner unshakable confidence and strength as G-d’s child.  The more I find my inner core, the easier it is to forgive.

3. Finally, living with animosity and anger is toxic not only for the perpetrator but also for  me. When I withhold forgiveness from you, I am punishing myself.

4: A world without forgiveness is a dangerous world, where cycles of violence never cease.  The Nazi Hunter Simon Wiesenthal related the story of a man who lived near him in one of the displaced persons camps after World War II. This man borrowed ten dollars from  Wiesenthal assured him that he had a package coming from a relative any day and  would pay him back the next week. At week’s end, he had an excuse for not paying.  And the next week, he had an even better one, and so it went on for almost a year.

Finally, one day, the man came up to him with a ten-dollar bill in his hand and said. “My visa has just come through. I’m leaving for Canada tomorrow. Here’s the ten dollars I owe you.”

But Wiesenthal waved him away: “No, keep it. For ten dollars, it’s not worth changing my opinion of you.”

Wiesenthal was a fine man, but he might have been wrong, though I would never judge his response till I have not been in his shoes. He could have gotten a bargain! To give up a grudge for ten dollars.

You think that by not forgiving, you hold power over that individual who pained you,  yet if you let it go if you give it up, you can begin to realize that, by your choosing not to  forgive, this individual holds that power over you.

Forgiveness is your decision to no longer hate the offender. It is letting go of your vengeful thoughts, your venom, and your hatred in an attempt to heal yourself. It is the greatest gift to yourself.

On the morning of 24 June 1922, Walther Rathenau, the first ever Jewish German foreign minister, set off for work from his villa in the Berlin suburb of Grunewald. The weather was fine, so he instructed his chauffeur to use the open-top limousine. The minister sat alone in the back.

As the car slowed down to negotiate a bend just before joining the main road, another car came out of a side street. Two men were sitting in the back. A rapid series of shots rang out. At the same moment, there was a loud explosion, as the other assassin lobbed a hand grenade into the back of the limousine. A passing nurse cradled the dying foreign minister as the chauffeur drove to the nearest police station, but she could do nothing.  The 54-year-old beloved and idealistic German foreign minister was dead at the hands of a group of Right extremists and bitter anti-Semites.

The assassins, Erwin Kern and Hermann Fischer, escaped. The police mounted the largest manhunt Germany had ever seen: ‘Wanted’ posters appeared all over the country, and police forces were issued with descriptions of the men. The two assassins were caught. Kern was killed in a shoot-out and Fischer committed suicide; both were in their mid-twenties. The driver, Ernst Techow, was 21. His parents turned him in, and he faced trial.

And then something extraordinary occurred. Rathenau’s mother wrote Techow’s mother the following letter. It was later from the mother of the victim to the mother of the perpetrator.

“In grief unspeakable, I give you, my hand. Say to your son that, in the name and spirit of him he has murdered, I forgive, even as God may forgive, if before an earthly judge, your son makes a full and frank confession of his guilt... and before a heavenly judge repents. Had he known my son, the noblest man earth bore, he would have rather turned the weapon on himself. May these words give peace to your soul.” – Mathilde Rathenau

These amazing words, combined with Techow’s testimony that he had wanted to back out of the incident before being threatened himself, led the court to convict him and give him a sentence of 14 years. He ultimately served five. While in prison, he studied the writings of the man he murdered and came to admire him deeply. He went on to learn Hebrew and become a scholar of Judaism.

After serving his prison sentence, Techow joined the Foreign Legion where he was decorated for his military exploits fighting Nazis, which included the capture of 24 Nazis. While in the Foreign Legion, he met a nephew of Rathenau and told him that the letter from Rathenau’s mother was his most valued possession. He said that he hoped that he could make up in some way for his past evil behavior.

He fought against the Nazis until France capitulated in 1940. As occupied France began to participate in the slaughter of Jews, Techow smuggled himself into Marseilles. Once in Marseilles, he risked capture and torture by the Nazis, daily, to help Jews escape to Spain with Moroccan passports. For individuals who lacked money, he arranged their escapes without payment. Techow saved over 700 Jews from Hitler’s death camps.

Rathenau’s mother was able, in incredible pain, to offer words of forgiveness. Those words ultimately saved 700 lives and transformed Techow.

May our Lord remember them for good, together with the other righteous of the world, and may He redress the spilled blood of His servants, speedily in our days.

Shabbat Shalom and Chodesh Tov,

Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky

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5/28/2024

Diana Margaret wrote...

I am Diana Margaret by name from England, so excited to quickly Appreciate Dr Kachi. who helped me win a lot of money a few weeks ago in the lottery, I was addicted of playing the lottery game, I’ve never won a big amount in the EuroMillions lotteries, but other than losing my ticket, I always play when the jackpot is big. I believe that someday I might as well be the lucky winner. I was in the Aldi supermarket store buying a lottery ticket when I overheard Newsagents reveal saying what happens when someone win a National Lottery jackpot in their shop by a powerful doctor called Dr Kachi, i was not easily convince at first so i went online to do some research about Dr Kachi I saw different kind of manifest of testimony how he have help a lot of people to win big lottery game in all over the worldwide, that was what trigger me to contact Dr Kachi i decided to give him a try and told him i want to be the among of the winner he had helps, Dr Kachi assure me not to worry that I'm in rightful place to win my lottery game and ask me to buy lottery tickets after he have perform a powerful spell numbers and gave to me which i use to play the lottery draw, and won a massive £40,627,241 EuroMillions, After all my years of financially struggling to win the lottery, I finally win big jackpot, this message is to everyone out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way you can win the lottery, contact Call/Text number: +1 (209) 893-8075 Email [email protected]
6/1/2024

Farrah Bayles wrote...

- It may be extremely frustrating and depressing to lose access to one's hard-earned Bitcoin, leaving many people feeling hopeless and unsure of what to do. But in my situation, contacting CYBER GENIE HACK PRO was a smart and fortunate choice. With the technological tools and specialized knowledge needed to comprehend the complex world of blockchain technology, this team of professionals in digital forensics can painstakingly track the movements of your misplaced Bitcoin and eventually retrieve what is rightly yours. You must have experienced great relief and appreciation when you were allowed to reassess your digital assets. This recovery is a lifetime saver, protecting your investment's returns and maintaining my financial stability. The Cyber Genie Hack team's professionalism, dedication, and technical skill throughout this process are incredibly impressive and highlight their unwavering commitment to helping clients recover crypto assets that could have been lost to digital currency hackers and fake traders. This successful outcome and encounter with the marvelous Cyber Genie Hack Pro team has given me the much-needed peace of mind to move forward with life and confidence in rebuilding my life, which was almost ruined while dealing with those shady traders. Even amid seemingly insurmountable digital challenges, knowledgeable professionals are committed to helping people like you recover what is rightfully yours. Find these experts via:
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Farrah B.
6/6/2024

Mary Robinson wrote...

Good day to everyone reading my post, i'm here to appreciate a legitimate spell caster call Dr Kachi who can help you winning the lottery draw, i have never win a biggest amount in lottery unite the day i saw good reviews about DR Kachi how he has helped a lot of people in different ways both financially/martially and i have been playing Mega Million for 8years now, but things suddenly change the moment i contacted Dr Kachi and explained everything to me about the spell and I accepted. I followed his instructions and played the Mega Million with the numbers he gave me, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of Dr Kachi spell, i win $640 Million Dollars in Mega Millions Ticket, i am making this known to everyone out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery jackpot, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery, this is the real secret we all have been searching for. I want to thank Dr Kachi for his endless help and his from the United States. you can contact via email [email protected] or through Text and Call Number: +1 (209) 893-8075
6/6/2024

Jassi wrote...

There is a great spell caster that gives out lottery winning numbers to people. I won $80,000,000 Million dollars with the help of his winning numbers, I have been playing lottery games for years and I never won, but my Friend in the office won 90,000,000 million dollars and resigned from work so I beg him for help and he said (Dr Herry) predicted his winning after casting a spell and gave him the winning number to play and he won. so I spoke to (Dr Herry) on WhatsApp: +2347045451476 for help, He responded and said a reading has to be done and a spell cast to reveal my SIX (6) winning numbers, I provided his requirements for the reading and casting of the spell. After casting the spell, he gave me SIX (6) numbers and said it’s my winning number and told me when and where to play it. I did as instructed and 25 hours later, I got a call that I won $80,000,000 million dollars, I thought it was a joke until i was called to come and receive my reward. (Dr Herry) can help you win too. Contact him via WhatsApp +2347045451476 or Email [email protected]

6/9/2024

Mary Robinson wrote...

Good day to everyone reading my post, i'm here to appreciate a legitimate spell caster call Dr Kachi who can help you winning the lottery draw, i have never win a biggest amount in lottery unite the day i saw good reviews about DR Kachi how he has helped a lot of people in different ways both financially/martially and i have been playing Mega Million for 8years now, but things suddenly change the moment i contacted Dr Kachi and explained everything to me about the spell and I accepted. I followed his instructions and played the Mega Million with the numbers he gave me, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of Dr Kachi spell, i win $640 Million Dollars in Mega Millions Ticket, i am making this known to everyone out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery jackpot, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery, this is the real secret we all have been searching for. I want to thank Dr Kachi for his endless help and his from the United States. you can contact via email [email protected] or through Text and Call Number: +1 (209) 893-8075
6/9/2024

Michael Eric wrote...


My name is Michael Eric, I want to thank Dr Ughulu for making me the happiest man on this earth. I have been playing a lottery jackpot for over 2 years all I have won is 5000 thousand dollars ever since I still keep playing it and I haven't win again I was wondering what was happening, until the day I was looking for how to win online I saw a comment how someone testifies Dr. Ughulu it was very interesting and I also message him to help, and I explained everything to him, so he did everything for me and gave me six Powerball winning numbers. I played it and I won, when the winning numbers came out I was among the people and my winning price was $196 Million Dollars,what else can I say? Thank you so much Dr. Ughulu. I really appreciate what you did for me. Text/Call:+1 (252) 409-1841 or via email: [email protected]


6/12/2024

momos smith wrote...



My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states

Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been

suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his

herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us

his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and

which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is

ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if

he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via

email [email protected]
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below

HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?
6/12/2024

momos smith wrote...



My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states

Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been

suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his

herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us

his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and

which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is

ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if

he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via

email [email protected]
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below

HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?
6/13/2024

Walter Brian wrote...

THIS IS REAL. I REPEAT, THIS IS REAL. The black mirror is real, the black mirror is really powerful, effective and 100% reliable. My name is Walter Brian, I want to thank Dada Magical for giving his black mirror to me. Since he gave me his black mirror, I became rich, successful, protected, informed and powerful. I was browsing through the internet one day when I saw multiple testimonies on how Dada Magical has helped so many people with his black mirror. I thought it was a joke at first but I gave it a try and contacted him. He sold the black mirror to me and told me how to use it and all that I need to do. I followed the instructions just as he told me and to my greatest surprise, it worked just as he told me. The black mirror is still working for me. The mirror also brings good luck, blessings and information. Contact Dada Magical now on his email; [email protected] and he will help you also with the black mirror just the same way he helped me. Thank you Great Dada Magical.
6/14/2024

momos smith wrote...


My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states

Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been

suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his

herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us

his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and

which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is

ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if

he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via

email [email protected]
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below

HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?




6/14/2024

momos smith wrote...


My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states

Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been

suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his

herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us

his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and

which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is

ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if

he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via

email [email protected]
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below

HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?