A man walking in the city was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking derelict who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted $2, and asked, "If I give you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the man said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
“Will you use the money to buy cigarettes?”
“No way. $2 can’t get me a pack of cigarettes. I had to quit smoking years ago when the price of tobacco went up so drastically.”
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you $2. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad!"
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's OK! I just want my wife to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, smoking, and golf!"
This week's Torah portion, Tazria/Metzora, discusses the laws of leprosy. This unusual illness was identified by a white patch on one's skin that was symptomatic of a profound emotional and spiritual blemish within this individual. This, plus several secondary symptoms, determined the person as being temporarily "impure," and required him or her to separate from the community and undergo an intense program of introspection and healing.
The Torah states that only a priest was authorized to diagnose leprosy. Even in a case where all the symptoms of the illness are clearly present and a multitude of scholars recognize it, the person cannot be declared to have it unless a Kohen states so explicitly.
The verse states: “The Kohen shall look at the affliction on the skin of his flesh… the Kohen shall look at it and make him impure.” Why is the same phrase repeated? The Torah should have said: “The Kohen shall look at the affliction on the skin of his flesh… and make him impure.” Why does it repeat, “the Kohen shall look at it?”
A great rabbi offered a magnificent explanation. It seems that the origins of what is now known as “holistic medicine” and the “integrated approach” are in the Torah.
The two sections of the verse are different: The first time, the Torah states, “The Kohen shall look at the affliction on the skin of his flesh…”The second time it states, “The Kohen shall look at him and make him impure.”
These, suggests Rabbi Meir Simcha, are two very separate evaluations. One is on the disease; the other is on the person. He must examine all of the symptoms and determine the proper diagnosis based on the nature of this skin disease; for this, he looks at the affliction.
But that is not enough. He must also look at the person, “and the Kohen shall look at HIM,” and see if it is appropriate to declare this person impure.
What does this mean practically? The Talmud states: "If the leper is a newlywed groom he is given the Seven Days of Feasting, and the same applies on a Festival." Meaning, if a fresh groom develops the symptoms of leprosy, the Kohen will not examine them and declare him impure, even if all the symptoms are blatantly present, until after a full week passes since his wedding. The same is true for the seven days of the holidays, Passover and Sukkot. But how can the Rabbis enact such a novel law? If the Torah says that someone is a leper and needs a certain treatment, delaying it is wrong. It is like delaying medical treatment for a patient in the middle of the holidays, so as not to aggravate him! This is not a favor. How could the Rabbis delay the entire process of examination and diagnosis?
Rabbi Meir Simcha brilliantly argues that this is the meaning behind the redundancy in the above verse. The Torah instructs the Kohen not only to look at the symptoms but also to look at the person; not only to examine the malady but also to peer into the human being. The person may have the disease, but if the person is not ready to become impure, he should not deem him impure. To destroy the joy of his marriage by declaring him impure, the Torah is saying, is inappropriate, and hence the Torah says that in this case, he is not impure.
The Torah advocated a “holistic approach,” appreciating all facets of a person’s life and seeing how all aspects of one's life are integrated.
Your child or student may behave disrespectfully and say hurtful things, or display a horrible attitude toward you. At such a moment you are tempted to look at him and say: You are impure. Get out of my house.
Technically, you may be correct. He has all the symptoms. His behavior is ill-conceived and obnoxious. But the Torah says, Wait! You must not look only at the actual behavior, at the actual words exiting his or her mouth, but reflect on the entire human being. Evaluate his entire story. Don’t try to suppress the symptoms; try to understand the person.
Will calling this child “contaminated,” “tarnished,” or “impure” really help him? Is this what the child needs? Will this serve his interests and help rehabilitate him? What is more, is it possible that there is a deep pain in this child’s heart which he is incapable of addressing that is causing deep anguish and anger? Maybe this is a time to give more of his father or mother, and not less? Maybe he needs more empathy, not less? Perhaps it is precisely this moment that you are needed more than he can articulate!
Rabbi Aryeh Levin, known as the Tzaddik of Jerusalem, was once walking on the street when he saw a former student of his who had completely abandoned the Jewish way of life walking toward him. When the student noticed that he was walking directly toward his former master, he crossed the street to avoid him.
Reb Aryeh went after him and said with a smile, “I’m so happy to see you! Why did you avoid me?”
The student replied, “I will be honest. I am embarrassed to see you because I don’t have a Kippa on my head.”
Reb Aryeh looked at him and said, “My dear student, don’t you realize that I am a short man? I can only see up to your heart.”
To be able to live this way, I must be able to peer deeply into the person, appreciate who he or she is, understand where the individual is coming from and experience his or her plight from within.
Rabbi Herbert Weiner, the author of Nine-and-a-Half Mystics, once asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe, "How do you assume responsibility for the advice you give people on all matters, business and medical included?”
The Rebbe replied, "When a person comes to me with a problem, this is how I try to help him. A man knows his own problem best, so I must try to unite with him and become disassociated as possible from my own ego. Then, in concert with the other person, I can try to understand the principle of Divine Providence in his particular case and guide this individual."
Then the Rebbe shared a beautiful story about the fourth Lubavitcher Rebbe, whose birthday was on 2 Iyar, which fell out this year on Tuesday, April 17.
The evening had fallen, and Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch, the Rebbe Maharash (1834-1882) was receiving those who came to seek his counsel, the private meeting of souls between Rebbe and Chassid. Scarcely an hour had passed, and already the Rebbe was exhausted; he called a break and asked for a fresh change of clothes.
The Rebbe's secretary emerged from the room carrying the clothes which the Rebbe had removed. They were drenched in sweat. "Master of the universe," muttered the secretary, "why does he exert himself so?! Every hour he needs a new change of clothes. Why does the Rebbe sweat so much?"
The Rebbe's door opened, and Rabbi Shmuel stood there.
"Don't you understand? In the past hour, 20 people came to see me. Each poured out his soul to me and asked for my assistance in curing it of its spiritual ills. To relate to each one's dilemma, I have to see it through his eyes, so I must divest myself of my own personality, and circumstances and clothe myself in theirs. Then, in order to answer them, I must re-assume my own persona—otherwise, why would they come to consult with me?
“Did you ever attempt to change your clothes 40 times in one hour? If such physical dressing and undressing would exhaust you and bathe you in sweat, can you imagine what it involves to do so in the mental, emotional and spiritual sense?"
This is a rule in life: Don’t try to win the argument; try to help the person.
SHABBAT SHALOM,
Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky
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