No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.
The final question put to him was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.
Here was his answer: "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"
Jacob had settled on the outskirts of the town of Shechem, ruled by Chamor. Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, goes out to see the town. Shechem, Chamor’s son, sees her, abducts and violates her, and then falls in love with her and wants to marry her. He begs his father, “Get me this girl as my wife.”
Jacob hears about this and keeps quiet, but his sons are furious. All this time, Dinah is still trapped in the home of Chamor. She has never been returned to her family. She must be rescued and the people punished. Chamor and his son come to visit the family and ask them to give consent to the marriage. Jacob’s sons pretend to take the offer seriously. We will settle among you, they say, and intermarry, on condition that all your males are circumcised. Chamor and Shechem bring back the proposal to the people of the town, who agree.
Dinah’s brothers, it seems, were planning to attack the palace and liberate their sister. By ensuring that all the males of the town underwent the painful surgery of circumcision, they would have secured themselves against the possibility of all the townspeople coming to the aid of their chief and killing the potential liberators of Dinah.
The townspeople agree to the proposition. In a unique demonstration of loyalty to their prince, they allow themselves to be circumcised. Everything seems to be working as it should. Soon Dinah will be freed and the Abrahamic family reunited.
Here, however, comes the turn of events. Two of Jacob’s sons, Simon and Levi, decide independently that this is not enough. On the third day following the circumcision, they go and kill all of the adult male inhabitants of Shechem. They then proceed to kill the abductor and his father and liberate their sister Dinah.
Jacob is upset at their behavior, though they justify it. Commentators debate what their justification to do this was. Why did Jacob not accept the offer of Chamor, that his son be allowed to marry Jacob’s daughter Dinah?
The Torah describes in detail how much Shechem loved Dinah. Usually, when someone violates a woman, he loses interest in her. He fulfilled his lust and she’s worthless in his eyes. In this story, we observe the opposite. Shechem loves this girl. It is incredibly startling that nowhere in the Tanach do we find so many expressions of affection as in this story. Why did Jacob not even consider the offer?
One way of explaining this is that Jacob and his sons could not condone the abduction and violation. There was just no way they can overlook it. The Midrash, recording an oral tradition, presents a profoundly strange dialogue between the fathers of the two people involved, Chamor the father of Shechem and Jacob the father of Dinah.
Chamor told Jacob: Dinah’s great-grandfather, Abraham, was a leader, a prince, and I am also a prince and leader. Both of these people are given a unique title in the Torah: Nasei- prince, for both of them possessed natural skills of leadership. We, said Chamor, are both royal families; a marriage between us is appropriate.
Jacob responded: Abraham was not defined only as a prince, but also as an ox. As the Torah states, “Abraham ran to the ox” (to prepare food for his three guests who came to his tent.) You are a Chamor, a donkey. We are forbidden to plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.
This Midrash seems completely incomprehensible. 1) Why is Abraham called an ox just because he ran to prepare an ox for his guests? If I run to pick up a pie of pizza do I acquire the name “Pizza? 2) Chamor means a donkey. But why is Chamor considered a “donkey,” just because he has that name? 3) How is the prohibition to combine an ox and donkey in a plow serve as a reason for Dinah not to marry Shechem?
The Kesav Sofer presents a beautiful explanation to this Midrash. The prophet Isiah laments:
An ox knows his owner, and a donkey his master's trough; yet Israel does not know, my people does not reflect. The prophet cries that the Jewish people have become inferior to the ox and even to the donkey: Unlike the ox and the donkey, they do not know their owner, nor do they even recognize where their sustenance lay.
But do you notice the difference in his description between the ox and the donkey? “An ox knows its owner and a donkey his master's trough.” The ox “knows” his owner. The ox recognizes who his owner is and he obeys his owner. The donkey does not. The donkey, however, knows his master’s trough (the container where the food and water of the donkey are stored). He craves food and knows where to go to get it—in his master’s trough. He may not recognize his master and obey him but at least he knows where his food comes from.
The ox is described in the Talmud as the king of the domesticated animals.
The ox is a “king.” He is one of the strongest animals on our planet. In sheer brute power, the ox is stronger even than the tiger (though in a killing match he might be defeated because of the tiger’s agility, and its skill as a natural killer.) That is why, throughout history, oxen were chosen for pulling heavy loads like plows across fields and wagons across nations. Their strength is incredibly powerful, which is why the Talmud describes them as the “king of the animals.”
And yet, the ox is not an undomesticated rebel. “The ox knows is the owner.” The ox is aware of his owner who takes care of him, nourishes him and shelters him, and the ox surrenders to his owner. He dedicates his extraordinary strength to serve his master, to plow his fields, and to carry the yokes and burdens placed upon him.
This is why Abraham is defined as “the ox.” Abraham was an extremely powerful human being. His wisdom, charisma, charm, vigor, passion, and courage were unique and singular. He was a warrior, a commander, a true leader. He was unstoppable. The man took on four of the most powerful kings of the time—and prevailed. The same man took on the world—and prevailed.
And yet, like the ox, he saw himself as a servant of G-d. “I am but dust and ashes,” he says about himself. All of his strength and power he harnessed to “plow” the fields of G-d, to “carry” the message of G-d, and to serve as an ambassador for G-d. “The ox knows his owner.”
This is what Jacob explained to Chamor. Dinah’s great-grandfather was an ox. You are a donkey. The donkey knows only of the trough, not of the master. Sure, you are a leader; you are a powerful man, as is your son. But how does he see his power? What does he do with his power? How does he use his power? He sees it as an opportunity to control, manipulate, abduct, rape, and put his hands on whatever he craves.
Do not confuse, says Jacob, your royalty with my grandfather’s royalty. Yes, you are both princes, men of deep strength, determination and prowess. But you are worlds apart.
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power,” Abraham Lincoln said. For my grandfather, Abraham power was a tool to serve G-d and humanity.
Dinah’s daughter, born from her relationship with Shechem, Asnat, ends up marrying Joseph, the child whom Moses compares to an ox.
Joseph was the symbol of strength and power. He endures much agony and humiliation, only to rise as the Prime Minister of Egypt, the Super Power of the time. “No one in the entire land of Egypt shall lift his hand or foot without you,” says the Pharaoh to Joseph. He is the ultimate ox, the ultimate man of power.
But what he does with all his power? He saves the world from famine; he forgives his brothers who hurt him so badly; he creates a future for his family and his people; he introduces Divine awareness into Egyptian culture and society.
There is an important lesson here. Each of us has a unique power within us. Some of us are powerful people, “strong as an ox,” whether it is physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, and psychological. Some of were blessed with unique skill or talent, with charisma, wisdom, leadership skills, administrative skills, peoples skills, emotional intelligence, intuition, vision, or indomitable will.
Tasting power is addictive, not only due to our vanity but also due to our spirituality. Because in the ultimate scheme of things, power can be incredibly positive—it allows you to change lives and impacts worlds.
G-d wants powerful people; be strong as an ox.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky
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