A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payes a kaftan (a long black coat), and shtreimel (the traditional fur hat worn by Chassidic Jews), and walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?" The parrot replies: "Brooklyn. There are thousands of them.
This week’s Torah portion Cahyei Sarah tells the story of how Abraham has sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac.
Eliezer goes to the city of Charan where Abraham's family remained while he went on to the land of Canaan. Arriving at the town's well, he proposes a test: the woman who comes to draw water, offers some to the traveler, and in addition, gives water to his camels will be the one chosen by G-d for his master's son.
Was the test permitted? Jewish law forbids relying on "omens." It is seen as a form of magic, superstition, and paganism.
The test was not one of superstition but of logic. It would be akin to someone saying: “It is a cloudy day; I am not leaving the house today.” This is not an omen; it is just somebody who does not want to get caught in the rain.
Eliezer’s test was a “psychological test,” to determine the personality type of the girl he was searching for. A woman that would offer him and his camels’ water, would pass the test. It would be obvious that she is a kind and giving person. But is that enough? Can a single test like this be sufficient grounds on which to base so fateful a decision as the choice of a marriage partner for Isaac? Is this enough to establish marital harmony? There are many kind women out there, but not all will suit you.
Let us recall that Eliezer is on a mission to choose the woman who, like Sarah before her, would be the trailblazer of a new nation, a new path in the jungle of history. She and her husband, Isaac, would need to continue the Monotheistic revolution Abraham began, embracing a life of moral dedication to G-d and humanity. Does this simple test of giving water to a stranger determine this type of qualification?
In truth, as we delve into the story, we shall discover that Eliezer’s “character test” was intricate and subtle.
Abraham’s servant stands at a well, outside of the town. At a time, when you could not open the sink in your kitchen to get water, people would walk daily to the well to obtain water. (You can still see this scene in many towns in Ukraine, Belarus, and other underdeveloped towns.) He’s waiting for the young women arriving to draw water from the well, to bring back the water to their homes, for drinking (both for the people and the animals), bathing, washing, etc.
Young Rebecca arrives, she goes down into the well, fills her pitcher, comes up, and begins to walk home. He approaches her and asks if he can sip water from her pitcher. What would I do?
I might have said, “Here is the well, why don’t you draw water for yourself from the well?”
Or perhaps: “I already have my pitcher on my shoulder. It is filled with water, and heavy. It is not so easy to take it down. I am on my route home already. Why don’t you ask one of the girls who didn’t fill her pitcher yet?
Or at least this: “Sure! My pleasure. Please remove the pitcher from my shoulder and offer yourself a drink!”
All this would make sense. But what did Rebecca do? To quote the Torah:
“She said, ‘Drink, my lord.’ And she hastened and lowered her pitcher to her hand, and she gave him to drink.”
If that was not enough, the story continues:
“And she finished giving him to drink, and she said, ‘I will also draw for your camels until they will have finished drinking.’"
She is so nice. She wants to irrigate his camels too. But at least now, she could have told him: “Here, take my pitcher, go down to the well, fetch water, fill up the trough, and give your camels to drink.”
Moreover, as the Torah states, Eliezer's servant came with other men. She could have told him to ask one of his men to do the work. Instead, “she said, ‘I will also draw for your camels until they will have finished drinking.’"
And what happens next?
“And she hastened, emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again to the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.”
Do you get it? After giving the servant to drink, she still has some water in the pitcher. She runs over to the trough and empties the remainder of the water in the pitcher. But that would not suffice. So, she runs back to the well to refill her pitcher, emptying it again into the trough for the camels, then returning to the well to draw yet more water for the camels. “And she drew for all his camels.”
Here we must recall the biology of the camel, unique to all other mammals.
G-d has given the camel that strange hump for a reason. These bulges are filled with fat. That store of fat is like a spare tank of gasoline in your car trunk. When food and water become scarce, the camel extracts energy from that mound of fat. The longer a camel goes without eating or drinking, the more visibly deflated its hump becomes. But give it adequate water and food, and camel humps plump up in a matter of days.
So just how long can a camel go without water before its hump starts to slump? How long can you go without food and water? We humans can last only three to five days without any water in temperate conditions. During winters in the Sahara Desert, camels have been known to survive six or seven months without drinking!
Like the thrifty vacationer who takes full advantage of complimentary breakfast buffets at hotels, camels make the most of their liquid reward when they reach an oasis. They rehydrate faster than any other mammal in the world, able to gulp down 30 gallons (113 liters) of water in just 13 minutes. After all, the wise camel knows that the next pit stop will be a long, dry walk away.
You remember the anecdote: A mother and a baby camel were lying around, and suddenly the baby camel asked, “Mother, may I ask you some questions?”
Mother said, “Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?” Baby said, “Why do camels have humps?”
Mother said, “Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store fat so we can survive weeks without water”.
Baby said, “Okay, why are our legs long, and our feet rounded?”
Mother said, “Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert better than anyone does!”
Baby said, “Okay, then why are our eyelashes so long? Sometimes it bothers my sight”.
“My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind”.
Baby, after thinking said, “I see. So, the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert. Then what in heaven’s name are we doing here in the Bronx Zoo locked up in a cage?!”
We can appreciate what Rebecca did here. This was not just kindness; this was kindness on steroids—it was an extraordinary and astounding display of generosity and benevolence. Ten camels were given to drink. But not just given to drink: Rebecca said, "I will also draw for your camels until they have finished drinking." She refilled the trough till all the ten camels FINISHED drinking to their full capacity; till they filled up their bodies with water, preparing for their long journey back home!
This means that Rebecca kept on running from the trough to the well, going down into the well, filling her pitcher, coming back up, running to the trough, filling it, and then returning to the well to refill, until each one of the camels completed its full capacity of drinking. And she did this all by herself!
We can now appreciate why the Torah mentions that Eliezer took ten camels with him on this journey and mentions three times that she filled up the trough with enough water till all the camels completed their drinking. It is also clear why the Torah points out that there was some distance between the well and the trough, thus she had to “run” from the trough back to the well.
How many times did she run back and forth? Considering she had one pitcher and had to irrigate ten camels to their full capacity, she may have run to the well and back to the trough between twenty and sixty times, until all the camels got their full share of water.
We can now appreciate the conclusion of the story:
“And the man was astonished at her, standing silent, [waiting] to know whether the Lord had caused his way to succeed.” He was not just impressed; he was astonished; blown away. Who observes such a level of kindness?! Such a generous, undiluted form of giving?
The Torah continues: “Now it came about when the camels had finished drinking, the man took a golden nose ring, and two bracelets for her hands, and he gave them to her.
We can now understand why the Torah connects the two points. When the camels had finished drinking, Eliezer gave her the jewelry. He understood that this was not just a nice girl; this was someone special, of a different order.
And it was not over. When he asks her if she has a place in her home for him to stay the night, she responds, that she has not only room for him to stay, but also plenty of straw and food for all the camels and the people!
Why did Rebecca not ask Eliezer or his men to fill the trough with her pitcher of water?
The Malbim suggests that when she saw that he asked her to sip from her pitcher of water, she assumed that his hands or arms were wounded, and he couldn’t go down and draw water by himself. That is why, she assumed, he did not help her take down the pitcher from her shoulder to drink from. If so, she reasoned, if he can’t even get water for himself, how difficult it would be for him to draw water for all his camels! That is why she said to him after she gave him to drink: "I will also draw for your camels until they have finished drinking."
Perhaps she observed that Eliezer and his escorts were too exhausted from a long voyage. Perhaps they looked weak, hungry, and drained.
And it was at this moment that Abraham’s servant saw all he needed to see. He saw a heart so full of grace, love, affection, kindness, generosity, giving, open-handedness, and big-heartedness. When was the last time he saw such kindness? By his master Abraham. We all recall from last week’s portion, how Abraham did not only invite three guests to his home but that he “ran to them.” And then “he ran to the ox and hastened to prepare it.” This was kindness of a different caliber.
There are many people who do kind deeds. But they are often calculated. How much? For how long? Under which circumstances? To what point? How do I know I am not being used?
If Rebecca had consulted a therapist first, he might have told her: You need to create boundaries! Don’t allow yourself to be used like that. You are a nice girl, but you lack self-esteem, and people use you all the time. You must learn how to say: No!
Thank G-d Rebecca did not go first to a therapist. None of us would be here today!
Rebecca was full of self-esteem. She knew herself and her abilities. But Rebecca was a Jewish Mom destined to become the mother of Klal Yisrael, the Jewish people. And the foundation of the Jewish people is pure, unadulterated, and unlimited kindness and love. Rebecca felt that the greatest gift in life is to help others. Without expectation, without calculation, without meditations.
The Skulener Rebbe, Toward the end of the Second World War, in March of 1945, found himself along with other holocaust survivors and displaced persons, in the Russian-governed town of Czernovitz, Bukovina.
Passover, beginning March 29th, would soon be upon them. Some Passover foods tuffs might well be provided by charitable organizations. Nonetheless, the Rebbe sought to obtain wheat that he could bake into properly guarded and traditionally baked matzah. Despite the oppressive economic situation of the Jews, he was able to bake a limited number of these matzahs. He sent word to other Chassidic leaders in the area who would conduct larger Passover seders, offering each of them no more than three matzahs.
One week before Passover, Rabbi Moshe Hager, the son of the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe, came for the matzahs offered to his father. After being handed the allotted 3 matzahs, he said to the Skulener Rebbe: “I know that you sent word that you could give only three matzahs, but my father, the Seret-Vizhnitzer Rebbe, told me to tell you that he must have six matzahs”. The Skulener Rebbe felt had no choice but to honor the request, albeit reluctantly.
On the day before Passover, Rabbi Moshe returned to the Skulener Rebbe. “What can I do for you?” asked the Skulener Rebbe. Rabbi Moshe answered, “I want to return three of the matzahs to you”.
“I don’t understand”, replied the Skulener,” I thought your father had to have six matzahs?”
“My father said to ask whether you had saved any of the matzas for yourself.”
Embarrassed, the Skulener Rebbe replied, “How could I, when so many others needed matza for Passover?”
“My father assumed that this would happen”, explained Rabbi Moshe. “That is why he requested an extra three matzahs to hold them for you.”
This episode captures what it means to live a life of dignity and true inner freedom. To really be able to be there for another human being.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky
Natasha Thompson wrote...