Parasha Insights

In a Liberal temple in Toronto there once was a president of the community who was a nice man but Jewishly, well, he was ritually-challenged. On Rosh HaShanah the gabbai offered him an aliyah; panicked, he said "No no no! I can't read Hebrew, I'll embarrass myself."

The gabbai said: "You HAVE to take some honor, you're the president!"

"Isn't there anything where I don't have to talk?"

The Gabbai thought for a minute and suggested "How about glila?"

"What's glila?" said the president.

"Simple," replied the gabbai, "you just come up after the Torah is lifted, and when the cover is put on, you put on the breastplate and the crown and then sit down."

Relieved, the presi… Read More »

At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger saw a man crying very loudly. The stranger said, “Are you a relative of the deceased?”

“No.” “Then why are you crying?” “That’s why!”

See, I am placing before you today the blessing and the curse.

Blessing, if you obey the commandments of G-d that I enjoin upon you this day; and curse, if you do not obey….

This is the dramatic opening of the weekly Torah portion, Re’eh. But what is exactly this blessing and this curse that G-d is placing before us?

One approach to understanding the Torah's conception of "the blessing and the curse" is to see how this verse is rendered by the great translators of the Torah.

A rabbi was once asked by a congregant, "Rabbi, why do you always tell a joke before your sermons?" The rabbi replied, "Because if I can make you laugh, then I know I can make you think."

Now, listen to my genius the AI: Here are AI words, not mine:

This week's parsha, Eikev, is all about crossing over - from the physical to the spiritual, from the mundane to the holy.

It is a new world. Artificial intelligence solutions are already embedded in industries from healthcare to supply-chain management, to investing. As the field develops, experts predict we will see significant changes in everyday life. In an essay, Sam Altman wrote as follows:

“In the next five years, computer programs that can think will rea… Read More »

Four Europeans go hiking together and get frightfully lost. First, they run out of food, and then they run out of water.

"I’m so thirsty," says the Englishman, "I must have tea." "I’m so thirsty, says the Frenchman, "I must have wine." "I’m so thirsty," says the German, "I must have beer."

"I’m so thirsty," says the Jew, "I must have diabetes."

Israel today is facing a complex reality, with more varied and serious threats than we've seen before. There is a threat from Iran, Hamas, Hezbollah, the PA, and the other enemies of Israel waiting for their moment. 

During such times, it is vital that we, the Jewish people, stand firm and unit… Read More »

A shadchan (matchmaker) needs an assistant. He hires a young man who seems cut out for the job but is inexperienced. The new hire asks, "I am willing to learn, but I don't know what to do." "Don't worry," the matchmaker says, "For the first few matches you won't be on your own. You will come with me. All you need to do is agree with whatever I say and even embellish it slightly.”

They go to visit a couple who are looking for a match for their son and have been having a hard time. The matchmaker says, "We have found a wonderful girl for your son. Firstly, she is quite good-looking." "Quite good-looking?" interrupts the new assistant. "She is gorgeous! How I wish I could marry such a be… Read More »

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues but couldn't find the guy to ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Gaza. He spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm in one corner of the background. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" The coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he b… Read More »

The amazing speech we heard from the Prime Minister of Israel Netanyahu this week, delivering the most important message of strength and victory over our enemies in the House of US Congress, is related to this week’s Torah portion Pinchas.

G-d tells Moses that his time is coming, and He prepares him for his eventual passing:

G-d said to Moses, "Go up to this Mount Abarim and look at the land that I have given to the children of Israel. And when you have seen it, you too will be gathered to your people, just as Aaron your brother was.

Immediately following this conversation, Moses turns to G-d with a remarkable request.

Knowing that he will soon pass, he thinks only of his people. Moses asks G-d to appoint someone in his place… Read More »

Sigmund Freud famously believed that a person’s dreams are crucial to understanding what makes that person tick. “The interpretation of dreams,” he wrote, “is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.”

The business of dream interpretation, though, is difficult, because many dreams, or parts of a dream, are meaningless. And yet, certain Sages regularly provided interpretations to those who were plagued by their strange nighttime imaginings.

The Jerusalem Talmud tells several anecdotes of people, both Jews and Gentiles, who approached the 3rd-century Talmudic sage Rebbi Yishmael to ask him to unravel the meaning of their dreams.

One gentile came and said to him, “I saw in… Read More »

There was a teacher known for his constant preaching about the need to nurture children with warmth and love. One time he noticed some children who were playing in the freshly laid concrete outside his newly renovated home, their little feet leaving lasting impressions. He became irritated and started chastising the children.

A congregant asked, "How can you, a person who devoted his entire life to teaching warmth to children, speak this way?" To which the rabbi replied: "You must understand. I love children in the abstract, not the concrete."  

At last, the moment had arrived. For 40 years they had wandered together in a wilderness. Most of the older generation had already passed on. By now, the young nation… Read More »

Rabbi Sam Wolfson was giving his speech to the Jewish Federation about the "Tragedy of Jewish Assimilation."

Toward the end of his long speech, the Rabbi clapped his hands... waited 10 seconds... and clapped his hands again.

The Audience looked puzzled. The Rabbi then explained that every time he clapped his hands, some Jew married a non-Jew.

Immediately, Morris jumped up from his seat in the audience and shouted, "Nu... So Stop With Your Clapping!"

This Shabbat we are celebrating Rosh Chodesh - the New Month of Tammuz.

In this week Torah Portion Korach is a baffling story. It tells of the "Test of the Staffs" conducted when people contested Aaron's appointment to the High Priesthood. 

G‑d instr… Read More »

My wife left me because I am insecure.
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee.
A fat old man looks at himself in the mirror.

It is one of the most tragic episodes of the Jewish people’s journey from Egypt to Israel. After the debacle of the golden calf, after being ambushed by Amalek (Octber 7)…, after national mourning for the death of Aaron’s (our Soldiers) sons, still the Jews are on the cusp of entering the promised land.

There is just one more thing to do. They have heard about this legendary land from their grandparents. Moshe has painted for them a picture of a land flowing with milk and honey, a place to call home after centuries of slavery and wandering. All that’s left is … Read More »

The KGB comes to the Goldman house in Communist Russia.

“Does Yankel Goldman live here?” he asks.
“No,” replies Goldman.
“Well, then, what is your name?” “Yankel Goldman.”
“Wait a minute–didn’t you just tell me that Goldman doesn’t live here?”
“Aha,” says Goldman. “You call this living?”

The Jewish people have spent almost a full year at Sinai. It is time to move on and continue the journey into the Promised Land. The hopes are high. All is going according to the plan. At this point, the Torah in our portion Behaalotecha chooses to relate a fascinating exchange between Moshe and his father-in-law: Jethro has arrived at the… Read More »

Please accept our invitation to have you and your family over this Wednesday for a delicious dairy lunch buffet with cheesecake and an ice cream party for the children!

The holiday of Shavuot is arguably one of the most important holidays on the Jewish calendar. It's right up there with Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover. This is the day that we became G-d's Chosen People, chosen to be a light unto the nations. 

This is the day that G-d brought us to Mt. Sinai and chose us, a tiny nation, as the people to receive His most precious gift - The Ten Commandments and the Torah.

This year, Shavuot is celebrated beginning Tomorrow evening, Tuesday, June 11. We will be up all night studying Torah with classes for me… Read More »