Education and parenting methods were never easy even in a good day.
Never mind at a time when children become teenagers at the age of five, and they veto your decisions at the age of six. By ten they are running their own lives, and mom or dad dare meddle into their private affairs.
I saw a bumper sticker: “Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.”
If you have lots of tension and you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
The Torah portion of Vayakhel describes the enthusiastic response of the Jewish people to Moses’ call to donate material to build a sanctuary for G-d. The Torah enumerates four pieces of jewelry the women brought to the Sanctuary earrings, nose rings, finger rings, and arm bands. This seems irrelevant. Why could the Torah not just say that the women brought all kinds of golden objects?
Why does the Torah elaborate about the construction of the Sanctuary? The Jewish people in the desert set the tone for all of us how to build our homes. For our homes to become environments where the Divine light dwells, it must mirror the Tabernacle.
How do we build such a home?
As it is often the case, a woman feels an organic connection with her home. She cares for its beauty and neatness in a uniquely profound way. Every man must recognize, respect and cherish what a woman does to a home—transforming it from a house into a home, from a physical space into a living, organic haven for life.
And she brings forth to build her home four unique pieces of jewelry—earrings, nose rings, finger rings, and arm bands. Here lay the four pillars of all education, the calling of every mother, father, educator and mentor.
The first piece of jewelry necessary in education and parenting is the earring, symbolizing the need use your ears.
Listen carefully to your children.
As a parent never remove your “ear-rings”—you must always keeps those ears attentive.
The second piece of jewelry is the nose ring, representing the importance to sniff and smell.
A good educator must have a good sense of “smell,” to pick up not only on the revealed but also on the concealed; not only on the conscious but also on the subconscious.
Observation alone is insufficient to raise a healthy, secure, happy, mentch and Jew. Now, use your finger to give guidance and direction, point your children on the right paths in life.
Finally, we must bring forth the arm-band to create a Divine home. We must cultivate our arms in order to raise good children and mold successful students. The arm represents strength and power. A parent must lead, be pro-active, not reactive. Don’t be afraid to discipline your kids. They need it and they will cherish it. One more thing: Before you discipline your child, discipline yourself. Children respond to the example that the adults around them set.
Before the Torah enumerates the jewelry the women brought it states: “every generous hearted person.” For this must be the foundation for all four pieces of jewelry: A generous, giving heart. A love for your children and your students. Then you will use your ears, nose, finger and arm to raise beautiful and lovely children and students.
You must remember that the gifts you give to your home and children are—like the contributions gives for the Sanctuary—your personal, voluntary donation. Give gladly, generously, and with a full heart. Your personal sanctuary will blossom under the caring touch that only you can provide.
A father once came to the Baal Shem Tov with a problem concerning his son. He complained that the son was forsaking Judaism and morality and asked the rabbi what he could do. The Baal Shem Tov answered: "Love him more."
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Yoseph Geisinsky