REGARDS FROM JERUSALEM

A man once told his wife she must listen to him because men are superior to women.

“Who says that”? The woman cried out.

“It is a fact. Look at G-d. He created men first. Why? Because we are superior.”

“You ignorant,” his wife responded.

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes…

The Torah in this portion Vayikra describes the various kinds of sin offering, brought in the case of inadvertent wrongdoing. Why does the Torah state “when a leader sins” rather than “if a leader sins”? The question is not “if,” but “when?…”

Saints don’t sin. Leaders must sin. That is their greatness. Each of us must be a leader. A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

The Talmud is intimating an extraordinary idea: Our greatest heroes are not the ones who never sinned, but rather the ones who actually committed mistakes, relative to their level, because when you are a leader it is not a question of “if” but of “when.”

It’s been a memorable week. We began with our dinner, an incredible evening where over 500 guests came together to support Chabad and the Silverstein Hebrew Academy. What a beautiful, fun, festive evening!! Just days later, I am now in Israel in honor of my fathet’s yahrtzeit and just prayed at the Kotel for my Great Neck family.

At the Kotel , I met the renowned scholar Rabbi Adin Even Yisroel (Steinsaltz) and I asked him, do you have any regrets? Have you made mistakes? Rabbi Adin responded: I made many mistakes, and I regret them. But I regret far much more all those things I never tried doing out of fear of making a mistake…

Consider an example of marriage and parenting. If you choose to remain single your entire life, you will never have an argument in your home, never experience strife and discord, and nobody will ever accuse you of being “insensitive, selfish, careless, irresponsible.” If you decide not to have children, no one will accuse you of being a horrible parent, a controlling mother, ruining the lives of your children, sending them into therapy forever… So should we all stop getting married and abstain from having children?

Heaven forbid! We were created not to be perfect—angels and souls in heaven are perfect. We were created to jump into the circus of life, make mistakes and fix them!

That is the reason for the strange Jewish custom that after the breaking of the class at the end of the marriage ceremony, everyone screams “mazal tov!” what’s the mazal tov? A nice glass was broken after all?

There is a moving message here we are conveying to the new bride. “You see your groom? Now he’s perfect. He’s handsome, flawless, and impeccable. He is the dream of your life. But sooner or later he will begin breaking things… You know what you do when he begins breaking things? Say Mazal Tov! Mazal tov that I am married to a real human being who is imperfect.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. How will you learn if you don’t make mistakes? How will you parent if you don’t lovingly guide your child through his big and little errors? And how will grow without experiencing failure?

Just make sure two things: 1) they are new mistakes. Don’t repeat the same old ones. 2) Don’t be afraid to say I am sorry.

A person who makes no mistakes, generally makes nothing.

SHABBAT SHALOM,

RABBI YOSEPH GEISINSKY